hmmmmmmm i wonder if i could get my doctor to give me an Rx for androgel instead of IM testosterone so that I can try to do that patient assistance thing

in other news, it looks like my insurance might actually cover the estrogen blocker, and since the rx looks like it says i only take 1/2 tablet twice a week, it only costs like $15 for 3 months worth??? sweet.　

where’s the cheapest mail order place to testosterone cypionate 200mg/ml???

so far strohecker’s is winning at roughly $60 per 10mL vial

questions marks for easy answering???

i think i’m just going to go to my endo and beg him and his clinic partner if i can just get T via informed consent, and explain the situation to them, and show them the receipts from my therapy sessions. they even spoke to my therapist at one point, to tell him what exactly they needed in the letter

i’m just

so pissed off rn

nothing seems to be going right for me and yeah i know shit could be worse, and has been worse, but it seems like every time i almost get my shit together, it all goes to hell at the last minute 

I JUST WANT A FUCKING PIECE OF PAPER ALLOWING ME TO TAKE THE MEDICATION THAT WILL FINALLY ALLOW ME TO LOOK THE WAY I FEEL

FUCK

I shouldn’t have to jump through these fucking hoops to begin with

i fucking hate the psychiatric/medical industries

is there an agency i can complain to regarding this therapist disaster? i’m going to give him until the end of june to contact me or send the letter, and then shit’s gonna get real. i paid him $175 with the expectation that unless he found that i was ~unstable~, he would write me a letter. i wouldn’t have gone to him if he hadn’t basically guaranteed a letter; i would have gone to a therapist who accepted my insurance and would have cost half of what this guy did. 

he SAID he’d write me a letter. he gave me a date by which the letter would be done. after the first delay, he got back to me and said he’d had a family emergency and that he’d send the letter that day. that was nearly two months ago. i gave him a week before calling, and haven’t heard anything since then. 

this is beyond irresponsible. he’s a fucking mental health specialist, and yeah, his life shouldn’t revolve around his patients, but what if someone really needed to get in for an appointment? he’s been out of contact without explanation for TWO MONTHS. i mean fuck, at least change your voicemail or put a sign on your office door. 

if i have to go through MORE therapy with someone else, i’m going to be fucking outraged. i wanted to start school in september having been on T for a couple of months, but that’s looking impossible at this point.

i sure hope he’s got a good fucking reason for this. 

ceasesilence:

If you are using a gendered restroom, and there is someone in there that you think looks they belong in the other gendered restroom, but they are just peeing/washing their hands/fixing their makeup in the mirror/etc and not harassing you, please DO NOT:

• call the police
• ask or tell them that they’re in the wrong bathroom
• yell at them
• beat them up
• threaten to hurt them in any way
• whisper about them to your cis friends while they are still in the room
• otherwise act hostile, threatening, or violent

Thank you. 

This has been a public service announcement.

seriously, what the fuck does it matter to the state what my driver’s license says if my birth certificate says female?

ans: IT FUCKING DOESN’T MATTER. it has said MALE for the past two years and gee, the earth hasn’t fallen into a black hole, so i guess it’s not that cataclysmic, is it?

my driver’s license saying male provides me with safety. when i go to bars and get carded and the bartender sees that “WILLIAM PATRICK” is “FEMALE”, do you seriously think they aren’t going to gossip about that shit to other people at the bar?

if they gossip to the wrong person, do you seriously think they won’t follow me into the men’s room and beat the shit out of me, or at the very least, harass me and call me a faggot or a tr*nny? no, don’t fucking answer because the answer is YES, THEY WILL AND THEY HAVE.

my driver’s license saying male is the only reason i’m legally allowed to use the men’s bathroom. yet if i walk into a female bathroom right now, i’d likely be run out or reported to security because i “pass” as male about 75% of the time, especially in bathrooms.

my driver’s license saying male was the only reason i was able to be 100% stealth at school and work unless i chose to come out (which i only did once to make a point)

my driver’s license saying male is the only reason i can go out in public and not have to fear anti-trans reactions from cops, which has happened in the past when my ID said “female” 

this is fucking bullshit, and i’m thinking about just not getting a new license because it’s not fucking worth the replacement fee and MY PERSONAL SAFETY

fuck that shit.